JAN. 2025. Blues Vol 41 No. 1

DARYL LOTTdaryl’s

DARYL LOTTdaryl’s deliberationsGrief, A Universal ExperienceWhen we as human beings experiencedifferent things in life,they are always a learning opportunity.Our brains are gearedtoward learning. Think of the joyyou felt when learning a newskill, particularly one that youpictured yourself enjoying. Maybeit was your first solid hit to theoutfield as a little leaguer. Maybeit was learning to cook a mealor play the piano. Learning is alifelong experience. It’s not justfor our enjoyment, sometimes it’sfor our survival.When we lose something orsomeone we love, we must learnnew skills. Experiencinggriefis no fun walk inthe park. It hasstages. It hasprocedures wefollow whetherwe realize it ornot.One way manyfolks deal withloss is to retreatinto nature. Ournatural world isa great sourceof healing. Wecan shift ourinward pointingfeelingsto somethinggrand and gloriouslocated outside ourselves.This is what Theodore Rooseveltdid on the worst day of his life:February 14, 1884.Roosevelt, a young New Yorkstate assemblyman, was attendingthe legislature in Albanywhen he got word his motherwas deathly ill with TyphoidFever. His mother was his onlyparent at the time. His father lostthe battle with stomach cancer atthe age of forty-six.Teddy had always been a brightyoung man, but as a boy, he wassickly. Among other things, hehad asthma. His father told himthat he would have to work hardon his body so he could pursuelife. Teddy, under his father’ssupervision, worked hard on hisphysical fitness to compensate forhis illnesses. He grew close to hisfather and succeeded in overcominghis physical limitations.DARYL LOTTWhen his father died, Teddytook to studying the naturalworld. He considered himself tobe a naturalistandspent countlesshours atthe Museumof NaturalHistory inNew York.He went toHarvard andset his sightson politicsafter graduation.Hemarried Aliceand started afamily.Whilein Albany,his motherwatchedover Alice as she was pregnant.Alice delivered a baby girl, and,for Teddy, the happiest day ofhis life soon turned to the worst124 The BLUES - JANUARY ‘25

time of his life. Two days after thebirth of his daughter, his mothersuddenly died of Typhoid Fever. Amere two hours later, Alice diedfrom a kidney disease. He losthis mother and his wife on thesame day: Valentine’s Day 1884.His journal notes the date witha big, black “X”, and a note thatread, “The light has gone out ofmy life.”Teddy left his new daughter inthe care of his sister, resignedfrom the legislature, and fled toSouth Dakota. In his grief, he gotas far away from New York Cityas possible. He became a cattlemanand a sheriff. He learnednew skills. He learned how tokeep the peace and raise cattle ina hostile weather environment.After two years, he returned tohis home in the city. The things helearned in grief would turn outto benefit all of us. His appreciationof nature and wildlife can beseen today via the national parksystem he created. As Presidentof the United States, he showeda physical and mental toughnessto our enemies and to those whowould abuse women and childrenin the factories of the IndustrialRevolution.Although grief is universal, theway we handle it is individualand personal. The ability to turnone’s focus from inside to outsidewas Roosevelt’s key. He returnedto the natural environment heconsidered to be his first love.Above all else, he was a naturalist.God’s creation is there for usin our hardest times. Don’t forgetto use it.The BLUES - JANUARY ‘25 125